I feel compromised, given the most optimistic of facts.  If my situation were the opposite or a variation, things would be worse off. Why worry? I am compelled to express my thoughts because I do not know how long it will be until I am stable. My family and friends served as my rock. I did as I pleased, so long as I knew I was meeting (or at least pursuing) my own success metrics. Grandpa is gone and my family wishes that give a eulogy for grandpa with Mom. To a man I loved so much, and one that embodied the whole idea of unconditional love, I mourn for him in my heart. But I hardly knew the man. I could identify facts, character, and traits. Who could appreciate this man the most? He won no awards or titles that gave him his just deserves (save the U.S. government after his military service). He scratched out his Korean name and gave himself a western name. How badass is that? How American. He created his own identity and lived his life a good man. A strong man.  

I wish to be gone.