My nerves are shot, but I won't let anyone know. I had two cigarettes. I don't smoke, but I just did. And then took a shower. Then procrastinated for a bit - watching movie trailers. 41 hours until I leave this place. I feel weak and want to be as hermit crab out of its shell. There is something so wrong about not having anything so cathartic in my life. Is it possible to do anything? Is it possible to shut up and be liked? Is it possible to love more than ever before and fail so profoundly? I received an incomplete for GLS 102. I know it's a mistake, but suspect the worse. It's painful to not catastrophize. I am living through life, in moments as tumultuous as the days lived in high school. And I am returning to my paradise lost where merit is obscured and everything remains as constant as the void of the blind. I must press on for a couple more days. I have gained nothing